Affirmative. It did. I have barely got back on my feet and started believing that things were getting better, when, like the first time, lightning struck without warning. Another shocking truth revealed. This couldn’t be happening!
This time, it was more forceful, more poignant and more painful. It totally knocked me off balance.
I thought of all the others who got hit the first time and have been trying their best to move on. They have worked really hard hoping for that light at the end of the tunnel. But, has the strike of a second lightning, a more disheartening truth, rendered those efforts useless? And I can’t help but ask: Was I taken for a fool that I didn’t deserve to know the absolute truth the first time?
I am not angry. I don’t think I will ever be. However, I am deeply hurt to the core of my being. I may have every right to be. Well, give me that, at least.
My heart bleeds. I’m finding it difficult to breathe. Nevertheless, I have accepted the blow and have resolved to bravely live with it. Now and then, I force myself to stop those tears from flowing because crying neither stops nor changes the harsh reality of it all.
You see, discovering a lie for the first time, becomes an impetus for a massive shake-up of your personal beliefs.
Being struck with another lie the second time around, your world crumbles and then buries you with it. It numbs and sucks the life out you. It can kill.
What keeps me going? Unconditional love.
It stops me from blaming anyone including myself. Stop the blame. Live the game called life.
It makes me sane and be understanding of why lightning hasn’t struck once but twice.
It keeps the suffering under control.
Whatever happens next, unconditional love is a weapon that I am unable to surrender to the enemy. I will fight with it, not just today or tomorrow but definitely for eternity.