When depression or anxiety affects a work colleague, a friend, a friend’s family member or someone dear to your heart, it becomes surreal. Somehow, one begins to truly understand the kind of battle these individuals have to fight everyday.
May I share some stories of people I personally know who experienced these feelings or condition. I realized that each story is individualized and as such, each person coped differently. I write these to help raise awareness. That’s all.
The Gamer’s Story:
“Did you know that I may have had depression? A few years ago, I left home due to a family misunderstanding. It was then that I started to be overwhelmed with feelings of being useless and that I was a ‘good-for-nothing’ person. There were times when I found it difficult to get out of bed and do just about anything. Everyone thought I was just being lazy. I was hesitant to talk about what I was going through. I assumed it would be dismissed as “just one of those days”.
It became worse when I was often left on my own in the house.
It hit me. I was all alone. Loneliness got real.
Thoughts on ending my life? It did cross my mind. But I could not bring myself to hurt my loved ones. Not that way. I could not let them suffer picking up the pieces and live with unresolved guilt forever.
I had to force myself instead to try to live a normal life amongst those around me. Life became a routinary blur of work to house and vice versa. During this time, I immersed myself into online gaming. Looking back, it has, in a way, diverted my mind off miserable thoughts. It still does. Suddenly, I was not alone anymore. I was talking to people. Online. But, I was communicating.
Today, am I better? Maybe. My online gaming turned into a live streaming channel and has built a considerable number of followers. More importantly, some hamers became my friends. I was was able to travel and meet them in person. We remain friends to this day and keep in touch constantly.
I am back home. I still have those days when I get glued to my bed, but I would like to believe that I am better equipped to deal with that. I have opened up to my family in the hope that they will have a better understanding when I fall into the dark again.