My blog has been idle for some time now. It made me think of the reasons why. Thus, discovering who I might be as a writer…Or not.
Time constraints? It is a cliche but I simply lack the time. I was able to start a blogging when I was off work due to illness. Back then, I have had all the time on my hands to write and contemplate about what to share.
Being back at work full-time has made me just want to come home at the end of every shift and rest and relax. Oh, yes. I’ve tried to concentrate and write after work or on my days off. I have always managed a few sentences until I felt ‘I just wanna laze out as I’ve got work tomorrow’.
So to be able to write, I need THE time…enough time.
Writer’s block? It shouldn’t be. Inspiration abounds! Life never runs out of experiences to opine on. The problem occurs (I know that now) when I play safe on how to express these opinions. While others are bold and gutsy about a lot of issues, I’m not. I always have to rack my brains out to find the right and acceptable words to use for fear of reprisals. And when I can’t, I get frustrated, I stop.
There you go, that says a lot about me as a blogger. I have created my own ‘writer’s block’. When will I muster enough courage to tell it as it is?
Language barrier? Okay, I am lucky to have gone to schools in my country where English was the medium of communication and where correct grammar was strictly enforced. But, even so, English is not my first language. Finding the right words when writing means the right English version, too. It is easier to articulate one’s thoughts and emotions by using a familiar language or dialect. This is true to both writing and when in a normal conversation.
Therefore, in my attempt to get my point across clearly, my rough drafts get shelved for proofreading and editing again and again until they get dismissed.
So maybe, this is the kind of writer/blogger I am:
I need time.
I hesitate to tell it as it is.
Perfectionist (if this is the right term) with words.
Does it matter if these traits are right or wrong if they do get me into writing?
Am I even a writer at all?